Lesson: A Family is what you make of it
Quote of the day:
"What is a family? It is the place where we feel an atmosphere of love and unity.And if you can feel this unity in a broader sphere, then gradually your family ties will disappear.What is the purpose of family life? It is where we can share emotions however we need to and as freely as possible. The Individual is the one who is cut off, separated. When you are part of a group, living for others, you broaden yourself. This really is family life."
- Swami Prajnanpad
Hmm. .
Why should "feeling unity in a broader sphere" lead to the disappearance of family ties? Wouldn't it make more sense for this to lead to the inclusion of more people into your family as you broaden the concept of family to include a wider range of supportive relationships? I would be fine at looking at “family” within more conventional terms, such as a core Western family or an extended family including remote ties to cousins twice removed, although I believe that this quote is approaching the term “family” from a more abstract perspective, which is why I do not understand how we can lose our ties as we broaden our perspective. Isn’t that the purpose of this quote? To emphasis the goal of serving others and expanding the group of people with whom we can develop feelings of love and unity?
I like the section about the purpose of family life. In some families it is true. I know that in my family we were always allowed to share emotions freely and even when we were not they often came out because that is what families do to you. . they make you emotional ;)
On my trip to Bali there were three young women, roughly all about the same age who had all been adopted. They had each grown up in very different family environments and had different perceptions of their "real" mothers. It was interesting to listen to the ways in which each of these young woman described her feelings concerning her adoptive parents. It seemed that each girl, despite any differences in how she was raised, considered the family who had raised her as her real family, even though she knew they were not her biological parents. The most dramatic differences among these three girls was in how they viewed their biological mothers and their mothers’ decisions to give them up.
This made me think, when we separate as adults, do we re-create our families in other situations? Do we ever find a group of people that allows us to feel the same way as the people who raised us? Perhaps we are always re-enacting our family dynamics somewhat similar to object-relations theory. Hmm . . I think that this quote was approaching the term "family" from a very broad perspective and although I think I understand the meaning of the quote and agree with its message, I'm not sure that I would have used the same terminology to convey this message because the term "family" is so charged for people. What if someone's family does not embody love and unity? Sure, it ideally should convey these principles but what if it doesn't, can we learn to establish relationships and develop love and unity within other relationships? Can we choose to make another group our family because our biological or even adoptive families failed? How much more difficult is love, unity and security to learn if we are not given it from an early point in our social development, i.e. from our families?
These are the thoughts that are coursing through my head presently. Though I may not be very coherent because my brain has been fried by power yoga! Now on to write my final paper. Hopefully this will be the last sleep-deprived night in a while
P.S. I wanted to send out a big THANK YOU to a Ms Laurie Beth for stopping by tonight. It was great to see a familiar face!
"What is a family? It is the place where we feel an atmosphere of love and unity.And if you can feel this unity in a broader sphere, then gradually your family ties will disappear.What is the purpose of family life? It is where we can share emotions however we need to and as freely as possible. The Individual is the one who is cut off, separated. When you are part of a group, living for others, you broaden yourself. This really is family life."
- Swami Prajnanpad
Hmm. .
Why should "feeling unity in a broader sphere" lead to the disappearance of family ties? Wouldn't it make more sense for this to lead to the inclusion of more people into your family as you broaden the concept of family to include a wider range of supportive relationships? I would be fine at looking at “family” within more conventional terms, such as a core Western family or an extended family including remote ties to cousins twice removed, although I believe that this quote is approaching the term “family” from a more abstract perspective, which is why I do not understand how we can lose our ties as we broaden our perspective. Isn’t that the purpose of this quote? To emphasis the goal of serving others and expanding the group of people with whom we can develop feelings of love and unity?
I like the section about the purpose of family life. In some families it is true. I know that in my family we were always allowed to share emotions freely and even when we were not they often came out because that is what families do to you. . they make you emotional ;)
On my trip to Bali there were three young women, roughly all about the same age who had all been adopted. They had each grown up in very different family environments and had different perceptions of their "real" mothers. It was interesting to listen to the ways in which each of these young woman described her feelings concerning her adoptive parents. It seemed that each girl, despite any differences in how she was raised, considered the family who had raised her as her real family, even though she knew they were not her biological parents. The most dramatic differences among these three girls was in how they viewed their biological mothers and their mothers’ decisions to give them up.
This made me think, when we separate as adults, do we re-create our families in other situations? Do we ever find a group of people that allows us to feel the same way as the people who raised us? Perhaps we are always re-enacting our family dynamics somewhat similar to object-relations theory. Hmm . . I think that this quote was approaching the term "family" from a very broad perspective and although I think I understand the meaning of the quote and agree with its message, I'm not sure that I would have used the same terminology to convey this message because the term "family" is so charged for people. What if someone's family does not embody love and unity? Sure, it ideally should convey these principles but what if it doesn't, can we learn to establish relationships and develop love and unity within other relationships? Can we choose to make another group our family because our biological or even adoptive families failed? How much more difficult is love, unity and security to learn if we are not given it from an early point in our social development, i.e. from our families?
These are the thoughts that are coursing through my head presently. Though I may not be very coherent because my brain has been fried by power yoga! Now on to write my final paper. Hopefully this will be the last sleep-deprived night in a while
P.S. I wanted to send out a big THANK YOU to a Ms Laurie Beth for stopping by tonight. It was great to see a familiar face!
posted by El @ Wednesday, August 30, 2006
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